Why, Lord?

   Do you ever wonder why the Lord allows certain things happen that you did not want to happen? You might have even prayed that it would not come to pass, and when it did, you felt kind of let down by the Lord.

  This past weekend, I had the exciting opportunity to counsel at a junior retreat at a local Christian Camp. I was SO excited! Not only because I love working with kids, but also because I felt as if I were finally able to take my ministry to the next level. I was humbled by the fact that the Lord might be able to use me, one who is not worthy of His Name, in the lives of some of the young girls who would be at Camp. I spent quite a bit of time preparing a cabin devotional, asking the Lord for His strength, and praying that my flesh would not get in the way of the Holy Spirit's working in the camper's hearts. 

   On Friday, it seemed like school would never end. Finally, it came time for me to pack and get ready to go. I had been experiencing a small stomachache all day, but I did not think anything of it because I had stomachaches like this before so I did not feel that is was necessary to worry about it. My friends picked me up from my house and when we arrived at Camp, I was feeling quite a bit better. The staff had some dinner, a meeting, and then three buses full of children arrived. After getting all 11 of my campers settled in, we had a short cabin meeting, and then went to get them registered. I could tell that I was really going to enjoy this weekend. I already loved my campers, and we seemed to get along well. After registration, some of the girls wanted to change so that they could play some games. While they were changing, I suddenly felt very sick. I do not need to say what happened next. Nevertheless, I knew that I could not counsel anymore in my condition. After getting a replacement counselor, I gathered some of my things and went to go lie down for a while. My girls were very sad to learn that I would not be spending the night with them. I ended up going home that night, because I was not feeling any better after a couple of hours. You can probably imagine the disappointment I was feeling then. I found myself asking the Lord "Why? You know I was looking forward to this. What did I do wrong?" 

   Well, I had a lot of time to do some self-searching today, quarantined in my bedroom. After reading my Bible for a while, I had peace about the whole situation. Yes, I did feel kind of let down by the Lord, but I am not at all bitter about this. Was I disappointed? Yes but not bitter. I came to realize that the Lord does not ever let you down. He has a way of teaching us things that we just might take the wrong way. I am not sure if I will ever know exactly why I had to miss out on this opportunity, but the Lord knows best, and that is good enough for me. Maybe my motives were wrong, maybe the Lord was keeping me from something, and maybe the Lord wants to use this disappointment to teach me something. Maybe He is trying to teach me patience. That is something I struggle with quite often. Whatever the case, I know that if I let this experience discourage me, it will be a battle won for the Devil and I must not let that happen. Trials can make us or break us. It is our duty to see a trial as from the Lord, and use it to grow stronger in our walk with the Lord.

  So next time you find yourself asking "Why", run to the Lord. Pray, read His Word, and use whatever the situation is to bring you closer to Him. Just know that God has a plan in the midst of the turmoil, and if we seek to obey and love Him no matter what, we will experience blessings beyond measure.
~Abigail Lange :) 
  Psalm 37:31